pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead
So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.
I was like “Aye yo, ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.
Then I was like “No.”
well no wonder why it was in the thrift store
but shit it was 99 cents
I was hired by a religious group to do an illustration for their printed brochure. They loved it, and I sent them an invoice. Two months later I hadn’t been paid.
I called them, and their manager said they had prayed to God about my invoice, and He told them to use the money for their cause instead.
I waited a few minutes and called him back. I told him that I had prayed to God about it, and He said they should pay me.
They sent me a check.
Me: Can I get you to make me a visual palette of colors you’d like, so I can have a better idea of what to work off of?
Client: Golden-orangey, black-like blue, purplish-blue, berry purple, dusky gray-purple.
Client: Can you make the globe look flat and expanded to show all countries? We want people to know that we don’t just work with this half of the world - we work for the entire world!
Me: So you’d like a map?
Client: No. Just our logo and the globe, but a flat and expanded globe.
Our development team was working on a content management system for a corporate client. It was a big system that administered units produced in a variety of languages and applications and, as a result, required careful user interface design and a lot of backend code.
We were doing a show and…
Me: “What browser are you on?”
Me: “Google Chrome?”
Client: “No, just regular Google.”
Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”
Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”
Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?
Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”